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A Beginers Guide to Getting a Chopper Ride

Step 1:

Prior to the trip do lots of exercise to build up leg muscles, confidence, and fitness, but not involving walking muscles or putting strain upon tendons or ligaments. I found cycling worked best for this.

Step 2:

Choose a good trip. Points to look out for are:

a) Length of at least one week (to ensure adequate pack weight).

b) Days of at least 6 hours endurance (high hills may be included but are optional and not necessary.)

c) Shortened daylight hours - mid term proves ideal for this and ensures that one does not loiter.

d) Ensure that the route includes huts at least 3 day from the nearest roadend (this removes the temptation to walk out under your own steam).

e) Crucial Point : ensure that there is at least one other capable leader in the group or travel with another (Bevan's for example).

Step 3:

Points to note whilst on the trip:

a) When leading go flat out and attempt to cut track times in half.

b) When at the rear, ensure your pack is full of someone else's stuff (to compensate for the lack of pace).

Step 4:

What to aim for:

I found strained ligaments sufficient although Camille chose to go the whole hog and tear hers. Some would recommend gun shot or stab wounds, etc, but one may bleed to death before help arrives so I recommend leaving these for the experts.

Tip : crashing through bush to pull someone from a lake may help.

Step 5:

When you have your injury - Do Not Slow Down Or Rest!! This may well cause the pain to go away, ruining the exercise. If anything I recommend going even faster.

Tip: ensure that you cross over river terraces and boulders as this is certain to render one incapable of further painless movement.

Step 6:

When you can no longer walk - Do Not Stop!!! Drag yourself to the next hut

Tip: Using hands and knees may be helpful in some situations) and wait for the arrival of others. Enjoy the sympathy, envious glances, etc.

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Step 7:

The important part - ensure there is a Doc Ranger, preferably named Warrick, in the vicinity with a mountain radio. This may shorten your wait for a flight out by several days.

Step 8:

I found having an injured companion gives weight to your pleas for Helicopter Evacuation and I whole heartedly recommend Camille for this purpose. Arrange for a chopper via the radio, the radio controller and the police:

NB: this may take some time.

Step 9:

Mornings provide the best time for flights and I found 8 o'clock to be ideal in terms of weather, etc.

NB: ensure you have been to the long drop at least 1/4 hour before Eta of the chopper.

Step 10:

The chopper itself should be the largest and most expensive to run available. In North West Nelson, the Police Llama proved ideal for this purpose. The chopper should come equipped with at least one pilot, one ambulance officer, and one policeman (video camera optional).

Step 11:

Climb aboard with your companions camera at the ready and enjoy 40 minutes of the best views you are ever likely to see in the bush.

That's all there is to it - apart from the pain its a very enjoyable experience and something anyone can aspire to.

See ya at the airport!!

Ric Parry

PS Don't Forget to Duck under the rotors or you will have wasted all that effort for nothing!